Wrapperlicious- Bitter-Sweet Life Experiences

Wrapperlicious Speaks

2011-01-28T12:15:00.000-06:00

The Day I Was Set Free From The Shackles of Abuse.

2010-12-01T21:11:00.022-06:00

On September 14^th, 2010, my fairytale life, from the outside looking in, was thrown a swift curve ball so fast, that it would make any professional player look like a Rookie. I’ve experienced many life altering experiences, but on this particular day, I was finally set free. Set free of the shackles called abuse, fear, degrading, unhappiness, misery, depression and everything else in between.

On September 14^th, 2010, my husband, the sole provider of the family, was arrested for aggravated assault of a family member. I guess I am still alive, because it is meant for me to write my story and to possibly help another lost sole experiencing mental and/or physical abuse. September 14^th was a horrific evening of being dragged forcefully by my feet off the bed and through the house like a rag doll, choked until I begun to pass out, shoved around, belittled, cursed out, slammed against the wall and threatened with a knife.

I thought the evening would never end, but I was able to escape to my neighbor’s house, badly shaken, at approximately 2AM in the morning. My neighbor forcefully said he could NOT allow me to go back to the house. He felt it was his civic duty as a human being to protect me from harms way, therefore he called the police. Thankfully, no major wounds were physically inflicted; all of my bumps and bruises healed in about a week, but the indelible scars of that early morning will last a life time.

Although my husband snapped that evening, I too have to take responsibility for that evening. Yes, no one deserves to be treated like that, but I too am responsible for the accounts of that evening. Why? Because September 14^th did not happen overnight, it happened over the course of years. September 14^th was the worse of the physical abuse, but I endured years and years of mental abuse. I allowed my husband to rob me of my joy. I allowed him to belittle me and say I wasn’t a good mother, to tell me I did not do most things right, to tell me I was nasty, dirty, lazy, to tell me I did not wash clothes right, to tell me I did not load the dishwasher right. He also did not like me to use the computer, he did not like me to have friends, he did not like me to text, he did not like me to talk on the phone, he did not like when I went out with my friends, he did not like when I did most things that did not revolve around him. Anything that took my attention away from him, he did not like. If you do not know, these are all red signs of abuse.

I had tried talking with my husband. I tried counseling with my husband. I tried reasoning with my husband. I tried having more sex with him, because he claimed if he had more sex, then he would have a better attitude. Uhhh…that did not work, nor last long. I tried showing him how much money I was making from my little business, Wrapperlicious. I tried all soughts of things, but it was never good enough for him. I was never good enough, then I began to believe that I deserved how I was being treated, because I saw a lot of these signs in the beginning of our relationship and I made the decision to stay, therefore making me accountable.

Let me go back to why I said I too was responsible for the events of September 14^th. I am responsible, because after I exhausted all of my options to make things better, I stayed and made up excuses as to why I should stay. I stayed because he was the sole provider of the family and I had nothing. I stayed because I kept telling myself how could I care for all three of my children alone and with no money. I stayed because I was afraid of being without him. Closer to the end, he controlled all of the money and all of the bills. I had to ask him for money, even for toiletries, which is another red sign of abuse if you do not know that. He controlled everything and I began to believe that I could not survive without him. So again, I say that I am responsible for the events of September 14^th, because I had a choice . I could have left a long time ago and therefore September 14^th would have never happened. I too am to blame.

We ALL have choices in life and I was too afraid and naive to exercise my right to choose a better lifestyle for me and my children. Unfortunately, a choice was forced upon me the morning the system intervened and my husband was taken away from me on September 14^th, 2010. It was a sad, sad day, but a day that I was freed from a life of abuse, fear, degrading, unhappiness, misery and everything else in between. The day my new life began as a first time, single mother.

You know what’s even more amazing, a few days after my husband was taken away, all the flowers in front of my garden blossomed yellow, it was like a dark cloud was lifted and the sun’s rays was finally allowed to shine on my home and my wounded spirit. I viewed that as a sign of hope and better days to come, but that was far from the truth. Since the day my husband was taken away, our bank account was drained in a matter of few weeks. I've visited a food pantry for food. My house has since been foreclosed. One of my cars was repossessed and my 2^nd car was threatened to be repossessed as well. My lights were turned off and we lost the last bit of food we had in fridge and freezer. My cell phone was turned off. My Wrapperlicious business seemed to come to a sudden stand still. My washing machine stopped working. My heating system in my house has stopped working. My car’s dashboard light stopped working.

In the midst of Murphy’s Law hard at work, I have managed to keep afloat, stay amazingly positive and protect my children from the ill effects of life’s hardships. The day they turned my lights off without any type of warning, I sat in darkness and laughed. Two days later and freezer filled with defrosted food, the lights were turned back on. One of my cars were saved from repossession by a dear friend. My children and I have NEVER gone hungry. My cell phone has never been disconnected for longer than a few minutes. We’ve had several offers to stay with friends when my grace period is finally up on the house. When I'm feeling desperate because funds are low, I miraculously get an order from Wrapperlicious.com to carry us for a while. More importantly, the love and kindness I've been shown by new and old friends lets me know that I am rich beyond belief.

As you can see, although things seem like they are really bad for me, it always works out some kind of way. It’s about never giving up hope and staying positive.

The Moral of the Story….there is always a rainbow or a glimmer of hope when you believe there is none. I’m sharing my story because there is always someone who is worse off than you. I am sharing my story to let you know that if you are being abused physically or mentally, you have a choice. There are TONS of organizations out there to help you get back on your feet and you too can survive on your own. If you stay in an abusive relationship, you too are responsible for the outcome, because you do not have to stay. On September 14^th I could have died, but I am still here to write my story and to tell you, you are worthy of a better life. You are a blessing and a gift to this earth and you are worthy of being treated no less than like a Princess or a King. Look at me as an example and get out while you can, because you too are responsible for your actions.

When you think you are going through a rough patch, look at my story, maybe you are experiencing something worse, but try your hardest to seek the lesson and learn from it. I am not ashamed of my experience, I’m grateful for it, because I too can now become a blessing to another lost soul. I am now a vessel of hope for those who feel they have no hope. I am walking through the fire bruised and abused, but Baby, I’m still walking, maybe with a limp, my heels a little run over and my purse a little empty, but my head is still held high. I’m surviving and so can YOU! Before, I was living to die, now I’m breathing and I’m living for life. Which will you choose? Use your experience and become a vessel for others to learn and grow from. Whether you are challenged, physically, financially or even mentally, look for the lesson, look for the positive and become a visionary of hope for another.

I’ve asked myself for many, many years, what is my purpose here on earth. Perhaps my purpose is to bestow my experience and my wisdom on others and add a little sunshine on their darkness.

I have yet to meet a stranger in my life. I love you. We all deserve to be happy no matter what you are going through. Use the negative and look deep for the positive. You can do it. If you don't see a positive to the worse situation, email me, I'll find it for you. I'll promise you that.

Wrapperlicious Keeps It Real: Wrapperlicious Goes To Hollywood - Am I Being Punked

2010-08-09T20:07:00.000-05:00

Wrapperlicious Keeps It Real: Wrapperlicious Goes To Hollywood - Am I Being Punked

Wrapperlicious Goes To Hollywood - Am I Being Punked

2010-08-09T15:28:00.029-05:00

When my husband lost his job two years ago, yes, I panicked. I was like WTH!!! When one needs extra funds, you learn to become creative as hell to make ends meet. And let me tell you, I know how to rob Peter to pay Paul...LOL. And that's when I created Wrapperlicious. Now I tell my husband all the time, "Thanks for sucking at your job Rob! You Suck! But, Thank You!"

But the point is, when you are faced with an adversity, you have to step back and look at the situation and say, "is this a blessing or is this a curse." Is this happening for a reason, if so, what is the lesson, where will this ordeal lead and/or teach me?

Well, Wrapperlicious was invited to the Disney Teen Choice Awards Gifting Suite in Hollywood. I had an amazing group of people help me get there, from flight arrangements, housing, to someone to care for my children. All the pieces came together like butter. My flight getting there was perfect. My neighbor graciously offered to care & love my children while I was away for a day. Life was perfect, just moving along without a hiccup.

The day of the show arrived and everything ran smoothly. My booth setup came out nicely, both Heather and Katie did a great job helping at the event. I mean everything was going lovely. The booth stayed busy nonstop. Celebrities waited patiently to see Wrapperlicious' hottest items, called Hair Candi. The day was totally INSANE with energy. I even had someone approach me about having my products in 150 of his stores. The day couldn't get any better.

After the show, we went out to celebrate and eat at this amazing little Mexican restaurant in California called, Eltepeyac. YUM! The line was around the corner, but it was worth the wait. Stomach was full, now it was time to repack my bags and head back to the airport for the redeye flight back to Houston. Sounds simple enough right. NOT!!!! The problem is that I was flying standby. Everybody and their mama wanted to fly the same weekend that I wanted to fly. How dare they. Okay, so now the real adventure & test of patience begins.

I did not get on the redeye flight at 12:34am, because it was overbooked, therefore I had to wait at the airport 6 hours for the next flight. I didn't want to have Ms. Heather pick me up, because I knew she had to work in a few hours. Being considerate, I said to myself, "Joy you are a soldier, you can do this. You can wait this out." I headed to Baggage Claim to retrieve all of my bags, which weighed over 140 pounds. Okay, no problem, I work out, I can do this. I then took a seat with about 5 other tired people and tried to get comfortable on the hard chairs and take a little nap. It was approximately 2am when the cleaning staff began to mop & buff the airport floors. So I guess there's no way I could sleep through that loud, annoying noise and I was cold as double hockey sticks too. Burr.....

I made it through the 6 hour wait game without a wink of sleep, a sore neck and a knot in my back. I RECHECKED my bags and headed back to the gate, ready to board the plane. NOT!!! There were too many standbyers and I, once again, did not make the cut. My bags were sent BACK to Baggage Claim. I go BACK downstairs and retrieved my 140 pounds of luggage and retook my hard, uncomfortable seat. Not discourage, I told myself, I'm gonna get on the next flight. Long story short, I was turned away FOUR times with no other outbound flights looking promising.

TWELVE hours later, I gave up, I let my pride go and called Ms. Heather and begged her to get me outta there!!! I endured a total of 24 hours of no sleep, no food and total exhaustion. Every inch of my body ached badly from walking around with two big suitcases, 1 big duffle bad, my laptop bag and another big bag that contained my banners & stands. While waiting for Ms. Heather to pick me up, I rec'd an urgent text on my cell phone that basically stated, "Pay your damn bill or get your damn phone turned off." WTH...not now...I don't have my credit card with me!!!! I immediately called Sprint, told them about my ordeal and the lady gave me an extension on top of an extension.

When Ms. Heather finally arrived, she gave me a big hug and took me out to eat at Cannataros, another YUM-YUM spot. Still tired, Ms. Heather said, "would you like to go back to the house and get some rest." I said, "No way, let's hang out!!!" She said, "Well I'm hanging out at church." I said, "Bring it on, but I need a church shirt, let's go shopping." I found the cutest shirt at the fashionable Target. LOL.

We go back to her house to drop off my 140 pounds of luggage and to freshen up. We head to church and the message felt like it was meant for me. I'm feeling great, despite the 12 hours of torture I just endured. As we are leaving church, I turned my phone back on, only to be met with 16 urgent messages. I proceeded to listen to my VM and to my dismay, there was lots of yelling & cursing. My dear husband was stuck in Oakland! Now is that really my problem, because I'm stuck in CA fool! What can I do for YOU! NADA! Needless to say, he was annoyed because he did not have his credit card and guess what, NEITHER DID I!!! But hey, I had Ms. Heather. Bless her heart.

Ms. Heather said, let go have dessert! Sounds good to me. We had dessert at Marie Calanders. OMG...Delicious!!! Dessert always solves everything...temporarily that is....LOL

I almost forgot to mention that my poor neighbor had no plans to watch my kids for days & days. I think the worse part for me is burdening her with my children, I feel horrible. So she has my three children, plus her two boys. I was wondering if they tied her up and stuffed her in a closet. I called and told her how sorry I was. She put me at ease and "said" everything was okay, but I know she is cursing me...LOL. I am truly sorry for putting you through this Ms. Barry.

By the time we made it back to the house, I could barely keep my eyes open. I barely undressed before I passed out. I was...so...tired, but before I had a chance to close both of my eyes, I noticed a few ants in the bed. OHHHHH NOOOOO!!!! Totally exhausted, I didn't have enough energy to shoo them away, I just layed down and passed out. The ants and I are best friends now....but my luggage is now infested. ARGH!

Today is a new day and I am STILL stranded in California, with no way out and the standby list still FULL!!!! My poor neighbor still has my kids, I have no idea where or what happened with my husband, my car is still parked in an expensive parking lot in Houston and I had to shake my weave out to make sure ants weren't taking up residence.

The Moral of the Story is, throughout this entire ordeal, I stayed true to who I am. I never yelled, never sighed, never blamed anyone, cursed or cried. I wonder, is this a test of my character? Is it to teach me patience, endurance or an opportunity to further build my soldier like character? As Ms. Heather says, is this experience a curse or a blessing. I don't know...but I am very thankful for not breaking and for having wonderful people in my life path to help me through my journey of life.

So no matter what adversity you're going through in life, having a poor attitude will not change your situation, but it's an opportunity to learn and grow from the lessons bestowed upon you, because you too may not know if it's a blessing or a curse.

What Is Day Dating?

2010-05-17T10:32:00.003-05:00

How many people do you know and maybe even yourself, who get married, have 2.5 children and then the marriage goes by the wayside?

Sometimes in the process of life, we tend to get so involved in the day to day survival, that we forget who we are. More importantly, we sometimes forget about doing special little things for and with the person we committed ourselves to. Unknowingly, we take our significant other for granted.

Once that disconnect in a relationship forms, it's never too late to rekindle what was once so beautiful. That is....if you want to. Take me for an example. When my family and I moved to Texas from New York City 5 years ago, I believe that was exactly the time my husband and I stopped connecting. We drifted apart like two polarizing entities. He worked late evenings and weekends and I worked days. We were coasting along, silently going through the vicious cycle of life. The typical day for me was: Make breakfast for the kids, get the kids off to school, rush to work, rush back home, pick the kids up, make kids a snack, rush the kids to activities, rush homework, rush dinner, baths, yelling, clean up mega mess and then pass out from exhaustion. And don't even think about sex. Who had time for that crap! This vicious cycle of life went on for 5 long years. The next thing I knew, it was as though I was living with a room mate who I only saw occasionally. Hmmmm...perhaps that's why we're still married...LOL

Throughout life's trials and tribulations, I truly believe everything in life happens for a reason. I got real tired of not having a life of my own, so I woke up one day and I told my boss that he could take this job and $%^&*. Okay, okay, okay, I didn't actually leave my job on those melodramatic terms, but Honey, you better believe I sure thought about saying it; with the Black Girl head & neck roll, hand on one hip, finger pointing & all...LOL.

Now that I had part of my life back, I was forced to look at my husband during the day while he soundly slept like a baby through all the morning chaos. Annoyed, I rolled my eyes, got into my Black Girl stance again, poked him in the back with my sharp, Lee press on nails and said, "Hey, Take me out to eat!" Equally annoyed, he looked at me with crust still in his eyes and said, "Alright, just give me 5 more minutes!" Hence, the birth of Day Dating.

We commit to dining two times a week for lunch at different restaurants in Spring, The Woodlands and Houston. We get dressed up as though we are going out for dinner and we enjoy meals at half the price. I must say, Day Dating has totally transformed our marriage. While the kids are at school, we spend much needed quality time together. In kidless peace and tranquility, we both enjoy yummy food and fine wine. As a result, Day Dating has given us a 2nd chance at this marriage thing. I look forward to playing dress up for lunch and he looks forward to seeing me happy and giddy like when we were dating, BEFORE attention hungry, life draining, always hungry, always wanting something, loud, snotty nose, messy, crying, fighting, dirty, sticky fingers, always touching something, germ infested kids came along.

Day Dating. I highly recommend it.

The Job of a Working Mom Is Not Easy!

2009-09-11T10:03:00.015-05:00

The job of a working mom is far from easy. I can go on and on about the many sacrifices one makes in order to juggle one's career and motherhood. I recently had to make a very tough decision on whether or not to continue pursing my full-time job, break away from the workforce cycle and branch out on my own as a free agent and full time mother.

Well, I chose the latter of the two and I'm experiencing so many emotions. There's definitely the feeling of What the HELL did I do, but yet, there's another part of me that feels like I've been freed and the shackles have been removed. I know we're a long way from slavery, but when you work in Corporate America in order to sustain a suitable lifestyle that works for your family, you really do become a slave to your job. They control you, they control your money, they control your time and they have control over everything you do on their clock. And like obedient, slave-like individuals, we do as we say. And if there's something you don't like, in most cases, you swallow it and keep it in, for fear of the consequences that may follow. Hey, this sure sounds like slavery to me, but with better benefits and better pay.

More importantly, what's even more disconcerting, is that sometimes as a parent, we literally contemplate making unfortunate choices between going to work and knowingly sending your sick child to school or daycare. Why? Because of fear and the consequences we face at work. I too am guilty of not wanting my own precious children to inconvenience my job. Wow, the thought of that does not even sound right, but parents are faced with these choices everyday and we all dread that phone call from the school or daycare stating that your child is sick. So my question is, what's more important, your job or your child? Unfortunately, I have to say both, but we tend to respect the job more. Don't hate on me, I'm just saying what most people only think, but I'm saying it out loud. I'm sure when you get that call at work, stating your child is sick, you're like, "Damn it, I have to tell my boss." And you know you dread walking in your boss's office to tell him you have to leave....AGAIN! Why? Because you don't want to disappoint your boss and you want them to know you really need your job, but you can't do that if you're not around. No one is indispensable.

In my opinion, Corporate America really does not care about your personal life, their only concern is what goes on in the office and if you're meeting their expectations. Again, in my opinion, your personal life outside of the office is an inconvenience to Corporate America . Taking time off to care for sick children or visit teachers or whatever the situation may be, means taking time off from what Corporate America deems what's important; their bottom line.

Two years ago I found a nonprofit job that I thought would fit my lifestyle, because they were open to flex time and they claimed to really care about their employee's families. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. It actually worked out really well for two years. My boss was open to flex time, which then enabled me to avoid $1600 a month in childcare fees. I was so excited by the opportunity to finally save some much needed money, along with work for a company who I thought really cared. Well if something is too good to be true, then it probably is. Two years later, the company had a different agenda and no longer honored my flex time. I felt sick to my stomach. The thought of losing one entire paycheck to child care and precious time with my children was not on my agenda.

Moral of the Story: The wonderful thing about life is that we all have choices and I chose to put my family first. I chose to remove the shackles that bound me to that job, because I want control over my life. And as we all know, slavery IS OVER! And you better believe me, when one door closes, another one will open. I want to control my destiny and I refuse to be Corporate America's Bitch. "If you do not have big goals & big dreams, you will work reeeally hard for someone else who does." For me.....that someone will be me. Hey, if it doesn't work out...So What!

Wrapperlicious Clothing Swap, Shop & Network Extravaganza

2009-04-20T22:15:00.076-05:00

Wrapperlicious's 2nd Annual Clothing Swap, Shop & Network Extravaganza was so much fun!!! Once I found the perfect pair of sized 3 jeans in a deep sea of clothing, I threw my hands up in the air and said, SUCCESS!!!! The jeans fit like they were made especially for ME, patiently waiting for that special moment when we would meet! It was truly love at first sight. Ahhhh...

Wrapperlicious's clothing swap was an exhausting journey leading up to the big event, but it was filled with so much joy & pride. The journey started with just an idea! I am the type that will act on most of my ideas and see what happens from my actions & efforts...HA! Anyway, in an attempt to simplify my life, I wanted to really clean out my closets of all unwanted and unused clothing, but in doing do, I also wanted to refill my now lonely closet. I pondered.....how will I manage that on a budget. Ah Haaaaa! My light bulb moment-- Clothing SWAP Anyone!!!! So with great effort and lots of team work with two of my friends, I turned my idea into a reality for many. It brings me so much joy to bring joy into the lives of many and I hope that was accomplished with this event. Wrapperlicious plans to host clothing swap events every 2 to 3 months. Whoo Hoo!!!

Also, in life you should be careful for what you ask for, because you just may get it! Gosh, I've been asking to hit the lotto for well over two decades....well...still waiting on THAT wish. LOL.

When I kindly asked to plug the clothing swap event on Great Day Houston, a local tv station in Houston, my wish was granted. It was an interesting experience, but well worth the cotton mouth I instantly received when the camera started rolling and the man yelled "ACTION." It was like I was having an outer body experience and my mind turned to mush and my legs began to buckle like overcooked spaghetti. And I thought I was destined to be a star. Not with cotton mouth I'm NOT! Tee...hee...hee. My lips became dry, you'd think I had been walking through the desert for weeks without water or had been eating white, powdered donuts. Trust me it wasn't pretty. Even Debra Duncan, the host of the show, asked if I needed some Vaseline for my donuts, I mean my lips...tee...hee..hee. Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it was darn close!

After I got over my initial shock of 15 seconds of fame, it's event DAY! We had food, tons of prizes, give aways, mountains of clothing and vendors for almost every need imagineable.

This is Tammy. Tammy hosts bead parties and they are AWESOME. And you get a great piece of jewelry after her shows too. Well, let me tell you about Tammy. Tammy was AMAZING!!! She stepped in and helped with the set up and the tedious break down after the event. She was truly a blessing to us that day and thank you so much Tammy for being an AMAZING sport. THANK YOU!

Melissa was also there from Wildtree demonstrating how tasty and wonderful her goods are. And let me tell, if Bazzle buys something, Honey...it's GOOD!!! I love Wildtree. Thank you Melissa for attending the event and I hope you got some great clothing. I'm actually wearing my clothing swap items as I write this blog. Whoo Hoo!

Affordable Embroidery was also in the house representing samples of her AMAZING work and when I say AFFORDABLE, I mean affordable. Victoria Henry, the owner of this fabulous business, actually donated items for the give away bags and she designed my fabulous Wrapperlicious t-shirt.

There were many, many vendors there and I believe they all had a GREAT time. Sales were low, but the benefit of the swap made up for that. We all left the event with adorable pink bags filled with clothing and a great time.

Overall, Wrapperlicious's Clothing Swap, Shop & Network Extravaganza was AMAZING!!! More importantly, we were able to raise over 25 bags of clothing for the women's shelter, now THAT ROCKS! This is a picture of LaShun Foster & I dropping off the numerous goodies to the shelter. What a great feeling. I hope you are able to join us for the next Wrapperlicious Clothing Swap, Shop & Network Extravaganza, because it's an experience you'll remember for a life time. So stay tuned for a Wrapperlicious Swap coming your way soon!

Keep up with Wrapperlicious Events at: http://www.wrapperlicious.com/

The Moral of the Story is this: If you have a dream, idea or goal, it's up to you to make that dream a reality. I love the saying: "Failing does not make you a failure. Giving up, accepting your failure, refusing to try again DOES." So if there's something you want to do, act on it. You may fail, but that is okay too; dust yourself off and try again. You are your worse enemy, so FIGHT it and do the damn thing!

HOLLA!

Debut of Wrapperlicious' Wrapper of the Week Photo Contest

2009-02-20T12:33:00.008-06:00

Wrapperlicious Announces Its New Wrapper of the Week Photo Contest!

Wrapperlicious is very excited to offer its customers and visitors the opportunity to showcase their photography talents. Wrapperlicious wants its customers to submit a non-professional, non offensive, entertaining and super creative photo for the Wrapper of the Week Photo Contest. Wrapperlicious visitors will vote on their favorite photo.

Do you have what it takes to win this competition? Wrapperlicioius wants YOU to show your skillz!

The Grand Prize winner will receive several special gift(s) of the month, including their very own customized candy wrapper keepsake. Based on our wonderful sponsors, gifts may vary from month to month. The winner will also receive a prime spot on the Wrapperlicious.com home page! Talk about bragging rights!

Wrapperlicious Customers Are Excited About the Photo Contest!
“Wow, I love your new idea, I can’t wait to send you my favorite photo.”
“You did it again, you’re a genius!”
***

About Wrapperlicous
Wrapperlicious creates personalized candy wrappers for any occasion you could image, from birthdays, baby showers, weddings, and bridal showers to holidays and corporate events. Wrapperlicious is so easy to work with that they will accommodate any request, no matter how odd it may be! Wrapperlicious prides itself on being flexible, forward thinking and nonjudgmental. If you can think it, Wrapperlicious will make it!

For more information, please go to the http://www.wrapperlicious.com/ website or email us at: info@wrapperlicious.com for more details or feel free to call us and chat at: 832-257-6795

Should You Care How You Are Perceived By Others?

2008-10-14T15:20:00.025-05:00

Have you ever thought, I mean really thought of how people perceive you? Do you even care how others see you? Should you care? Should one take the time to STOP-LOOK & Listen to the hard facts about how others perceive you? You may think you are an awesome individual, to only find out that you are perceived as something totally different. More importantly, if numerous people are saying the same things about you, then perhaps you need to reevaluate YOU. If you keep getting the same outcome in life that you do not desire, then perhaps you need to reevaluate yourself and stop putting the blame on others. Self reflection is a powerful medicine and sometimes a cure to most problems.

Let me tell you a story of a similar nature. In Corporate America, there are two kinds of people, those who manage and then those who are managed. The ones who are managed are usually told what they're doing wrong, what needs improvement and of course the 1 or 2 things they actually do well. In most cases, the cons usually outweigh the pros.

I strongly believe some people get so hung up on managing others, flexing their egos and pounding on their chest, that they totally dismiss or forget the human side of people. They forget that people thrive on positive accolades more so than the finger pointing and nit picking. There's a true science and an art to managing others and making them feel good and appreciated for their work and efforts. But unfortunately, there are very few who even take the time to master those skills. Case in point, do you view the glass as half empty or half full? Which view point would you want your manager to have?

I love the saying, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." But this is what I do not understand, the subordinate always takes the beatings, whether it's verbal or project wise. The blows are given, but they are never reciprocated. I understand this is not a childish game of tag or ping pong, but reciprocal feedback is always lacking and playing ping pong or tag alone is not a fair game. Why aren't subordinates allowed the same privilege of evaluating their managers? As I mentioned earlier, if no one is there to tell you how you really are, then the cycle of ignorance goes unscathed and nonchalantly continues.

A woman once told me that reciprocal feedback was thought about at her company, but the problem of anonymity was an issue. If you ask me, that is yet another excuse to avoid doing something that would require change. I think subordinates should have an opportunity to flip the script and let mangers know the pros and cons of their managing skills. If you do not know you are a terrible manager or just need a little improvement, then change is not possible. Just like a cook, if no one tells the cook that their cooking is less than desirable, then you deserve the continued torture of eating the food or force feeding it to the damn dog under the table who doesn't want it either.

As a result, even as a manager, I think hearing criticism from the subordinate's point of view, both good and bad, would not only benefit the manager, but the entire company. Why? Perhaps the feed back would be a revelation to the manager and they can now implement change in order to become a better person and manager. If you do not know the truth about yourself, then change is not possible. Sometimes hearing things about yourself from someone else, is a real eye opener.

The Moral of the Story is: STOP-LOOK & Listen, do not be afraid to ask those around you how they perceive you and if they think there's anything about you that you should change or work on. No one is perfect, but we all have the power and ability to change ourselves. Self reflection is a powerful medicine and sometimes a cure to most problems.

"Nothing Changes, If Nothing Changes."

My Experience with Hurricane Ike in Houston

2008-09-23T13:06:00.037-05:00

Hurricane Ike visited Houston like he lost his job, foreclosed on his house, someone stole his wife and owed his mama some money. Talk about a temper. Big Ike shut most of Houston down, just like a wrestler unrelentingly slamming down his opponent with brutal force.

The wrath of Ike's temper destroyed and damaged homes, cars, power lines and left over 2 million people without electricity and clean water. There were also many who had to endure total loss of water for weeks. Mother Nature's wild child affected the lives of so many and without prejudice; ranging from death, homelessness, temporary displacement, to how we sleep, how we eat, how we drive, how we cook or not able to cook.

Although hurricane Ike caused a lot of sadness and discomfort, it also brought out the best in people too. Neighborhoods finally blossomed into caring communities and everyone looked out for each other. That is what I vividly remember when I was growing up. It was an unwritten law to know who your neighbors were in Brooklyn, because it was also a security issue as well. If you saw someone that was unfamiliar in the neighborhood, you better believe that everyone's eye was on that person. Now THAT is what community is about.

During hurricane Ike, there were numerous people who met their neighbors for the first time, after living on the same block for years. Now I think that is appalling. Has society become so engrossed in their own lives that we no longer find the time or put in a little effort to meet & greet the neighbors that live right next door or across the street? Sadly, it had to take a tragedy to bring the community together, which is very disappointing.

What's even more shocking is as soon as the power was restored and generators fell silent, the community immediately reverted back into being an uncommunicative, disassociated, quiet neighborhood. They hurriedly scurried back into their caves, just like roaches when the light is immediately turned on in a dark room. What? There were also plenty of roaches while growing up in Brooklyn too. So yes, I do know about roach behavior as well. HA!

It is sad that you no longer have to put in any physical effort to socialize. You don't even have to show your face. All you have to do is plop in front of a computer, latest video game or send a text message and relationships are forged. As a society, we have willingly allowed technology to control and shape our lives. Just like the natural evolution of life, we are evolving into unsocialable androids and being without power reminded us that we are indeed human.

When I was growing up, there were no computers or cell phones. And NO I'm not that damn OLD! You actually had to go outside to play, to make friends and to communicate. As our society becomes more technologically advanced, the further we move away from reality and the true meaning of what life is about.

As a result of my experience with hurricane Ike, I strongly believe we should all commit to at least one weekend or one day a month where we do not use computers or cell phones and actually socialize and communicate the way our parents used to, the old fashioned way!

This entire experience is so enlightening, because now I truly understand why relationships with our grand parents and great grand parents withstood the test of time. They actually had little to distract them as far as television, computers, video games, texting or cell phones. They actually had to communicate with each other. If most relationships today focused on communication, then perhaps the divorce rate would not be so damn high. And I will admit, the week I was without power, I was forced to talk to my husband. It felt like I hadn't spoken with him in years. It felt a little weird, but good at the same time. It was so romantic, we ate by candle light every evening...tee...hee...hee. That's sure a thing of the past now....HA! Too busy on the computer and writing blogs...HA!

The moral of the story is, we all need to do some self-reflecting and seriously consider taking a day where we all band technology and socialize the old fashioned way. Do you know your neighbors down the street or even across the street from you? My point exactly. Turn the TV, video games, cell phones, black berries and everything else OFF! Say no to technology just one day a month and socialize like a human-being!

How My Children Have Changed My Outlook in The Work Place.

2008-07-25T14:50:00.008-05:00

As I entered the office this morning, the "Super Mom" in me instantly kicked in.

Super Who? Okay, she is an innate instinct that has unfolded since having children. I opened my boss's door and noticed his prescription bottle had been sitting on his desk for weeks. I immediately had to investigate this matter. I hurridly picked up the bottle and noticed that it was his heart medication and it was EMPTY. I thought, "Houston, we have a problem." I really like my boss, but if he kicks the bucket, I'm out of a job. Wrapperlicious has been good to me, but I still need a steady income, but more importantly, I need health benefits for the entire family.

As my boss nonchalantly came in this morning, he had no idea what was to come. I walked into his office, raised one eyebrow and I asked him if he already filled his prescription and he said no. Without hesitation, I held out my hand and told him to give me some money and that I would pick up his prescription for him. He looked at me funny and said, "Joy, that's not in your job description." Now as I get older, things just fly out of my mouth, I just can't seem to control these sudden impulses. I then said to him, "Well if you die, I will suddenly be out of a job, so it is part of my job description, now give me some money!" Like an obiendient boy, he handed me $60 dollars. I took off....I mean, Super Mom took off and filled his prescription.

On the contrary, BEFORE I had children, I would have NEVER cared enough to make sure any of my boss' took their meds. I would have thought, "I'm not their mother and that's not in my job description." Now that I'm on the other side of this spectrum, caring for others seem as natural as caring for my own children.

The Moral of the Story is that our life experiences help define who we are and who we become as people. Our experiences add to our unique character. Also, our experiences can make us stronger, but unfortunately, for some they can also make us weaker. As I've said before, what matters most is what you choose to do with your experiences. Life my dear, is a priceless teacher and we always have choices.

Creating Something From Nothing

2008-07-22T13:05:00.004-05:00

You may have already read that I can make something out of nothing. Well, I recently had a rather odd request to create a personalized candy wrapper for a client. She wanted a unique personalized wrapper created for her husband's birthday. I said that would not be a problem! BUT...she said she wanted a wrapper with her 3 year old's art work incorporated into the wrapper. I then said to myself, "Houston, we have a problem." Now this three year old is no prodigy mind you. Not wanting to disappoint my client or back down from a challenge, I said, "Bring It On!" I looked at this opportunity as a way to push the envelope of my creativity.

This is what she sent me.

When I first looked at it, I was like, "What the HELL!!"

This is what I created.

Although other elements were added to this child's amazing art work, the essence of the original scribble remained the same and the client was happy beyond her wildest dreams. Now I plan on incorporating this service into my business. See....I took what seemed like an adversity and made it into another opportunity. Although the candy may be eaten, this wrapper will always be cherished for a lifetime.

I am so grateful for every adversity I'm faced with, because you never know what will come of it. Remember what I told you, there's a reason for EVERY experience in your life. What matters the most is what you do with the experience. Now go out there and make it happen for you! God Bless!

How Was Wrapperlicious Born?

2008-07-22T10:18:00.004-05:00

Many people have asked me the same question over and over, which is: How was Wrapperlicious started?

I am a true believer that everything in life happens for a reason. I believe that everything we experience in life is to teach us something or to make us stronger & wiser. I believe experience, both good and bad, is the wisest teacher of them all.

I've ALWAYS been a creative person. I am a true example of being a Jack of all trades. For example, I draw, I'm a licensed hair stylist, makeup artist, an event planner, a costume designer, a repair person and so much more. If you give me some aluminum foil, some string and a crayon, I could make a fierce outfit out of it...HA! I can take just about anything and create something from it. My best friend used to tease me all the time and tell me that I could make a ponytail look good. Well....she was right....that IS true...smile.

Well....when my husband lost his job last year, I was forced into finding additional means of work on top of my full-time job. I didn't know what I was going to do to make ends meet. I was desperate. I searched the internet for months and months until the customized party favor world found ME. I said, "now THAT is something I know I can do!" I knew I was good with the computer and my boss gave me the uncanny opportunity to learn photoshop. I have absolutely no use for photoshop at work, but he asked and I said, "HELL YES!" (See....another example of things happening for a reason). I then taught myself how to use photoshop, which has been the spring board to Wrapperlicious. I took all of my computer knowledge and put it into designing personalized candy wrapper favors. It has been one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life. It allows me to use my creative abililites to design things that I know will bring joy to the lives of others.

Wrapperlicious has been so fulfilling that it has already caused problems at home. Both my husband and my children get upset and/or feel neglected, because of the time I spend on the computer designing wrappers or fulfilling orders. It's frustrating sometimes, because I simply can not be all things to everybody. And trying to find a balance is very challenging at times too.

So as you can see, I took an adversity and made it into something positive, which brings me back to my earlier statement, that every experience that we go through in life is to teach us something or to guide us down a different path. Perhaps my husband losing his job was the catalyst to make me find my true passion in life. On the contrary, if he never lost his job, Wrapperlicious would not have been born. So thank you honey for sucking at your job! Tee...hee..hee....I'm just kidding.

The Moral of the Story is, no matter what ordeal you're going through in life, you should try your hardest to take something positive from the situation. Every life experience gives us a chance to grow, but the key is what you choose to do with that experience. It's very easy to accept defeat, but fighting the battle with every fiber in your being makes you a true warrior. Don't get me wrong, you may lose the fight, but doing your best ALWAYS makes you a winner.

Unique Party Idea!

2008-07-22T09:24:00.009-05:00

I am very excited to share this unique party idea with you. Okay, it may not be unique to some, but it's a way to appreciate things you don't take the time to see all the time. When my precious little girl turned 5, I wanted to throw her a party. Not because she's my daughter, but she is one of the most precious and mature little girls I have ever met. Even her teachers say they wish they had an entire class full of Bobbi's...smile.

Okay, getting back to the topic. So....I wanted to do something special for my daughter. I wanted to take it back to the Old School way of throwing a party - right in the house! I currently live in Texas and the majority of the parties I've attended have been at indoor play spaces, so I wanted to break that mold and show people how to really get down!!!!

What I did took a little time to prepare, but I went through all of Bobbi's photos from birth to present. I then downloaded the pictures and created a slide show, which was displayed on our flat screen television in the living room. How did I do that? Well, I currently have AT&T & Dish Network for internet and cable. This combination enables you to download your pictures to a database, which can then be viewed on the television. This gave the guests an opportunity to view pictures of Bobbi throughout the party. The pictures were on a continuous loop. I downloaded about 300 pictures of Bobbi. Can you think of a better way to share photos of your children with 30 people all at the same time. No photo albums needed here! Everyone was super impressed. I was tickled pink with the way it turned out.

The other thing I did to fuse the New School with the Old School was purchased the Cha Cha Slide Song and other familiar songs that all the children knew. I moved all the furniture out of the way and the kids went WILD. We danced and sang and danced some more. The kids had an incredible time and no one noticed that there were no incredible slides, bowling balls, video games or whatever they're used to at these indoor party places. In addition, let's not mention the amount of money that was saved having a party at home. More importantly, we were not on a set time schedule, which is usually the case when reserving a space at the indoor play spaces.

I also made a promise to myself that when I began having children, I would ALWAYS make their birthday cakes. Seven years later, I still make EVERY cake my children have on their birthday. It's so bad, that my children will not eat store bought cakes. They LOVE mommy's carrot cake and that's the only cake they'll eat. I feel proud...smile.

Fusing the Old School with the New School was a party that's still talked about to this day!

So the next time you consider having a party for your child, skip the indoor play spaces, throw a bash right in your own home, with good food, music and lots of love & laughter. They'll remember that party for years to come!

I almost forgot the most important part of this entire article...make sure you have personalized favors from http://www.wrapperlicious.com/. The favors were the icing on the cake! Carrot cake of course!

Growing Up In Brooklyn, New York

2008-07-03T13:48:00.014-05:00

Growing up in Brooklyn was like a game. You either survived or you didn't. What does that mean? Well I'll tell you. When I was growing up, Brooklyn was rough. I remember I used to hear sirens & gun shots at night as if it were my lullaby music. The noise was so loud that it would sometimes wake me from a deep sleep. I was surround by crime and drugs. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like war or anything, there are great memories there too. But when your entire life is submersed in a situation, you don't know any better. I thought everyone lived like that.

There were not only drugs in the street, but they were in my home too. Both my brother and my sister fell prey to this ugly addiction. I am the youngest in the family, so as you can see, I had the most perfect role models in the world and I honestly mean that. But unfortunately, it did not stop there; my father was also a victim of the same vicious life style. So let me break this down to you. Being submersed in a negative environment made me rebel...................FOR THE BETTER. I looked at my brother and my sister as people I did not want to become. I looked at my father as a man I would never want to marry. And lastly, I looked at my mother, a strong black woman trying to keep us together and hold everything down, as someone I didn't want to become either. But unfortunately, sometimes the good guy loses. Due to my father's life style, my mom contracted AIDS from the only man she ever loved, my father. I never understood why she never left him, but that's another story.

What did I do? Did I join their drug fest? Hell to the No, I stayed in school and wouldn't stay home even when I was sick. I would go to school for an escape from my reality. I involved myself with dancing. No not ballet. Hip Hop fool! I was known as the Dance Machine in High School. Dancing was in my soul, it was something I loved then and that I continue to love.

I was the first person in my family to graduate from high school and the first to get accepted into college. Here's the twist. I was accepted into both Howard University, which is predominately Black and I was accepted into University of Texas at Austin, predominately White. Can YOU guess which school I chose? No not Howard fool! I wanted to escape my familiar surroundings, step out of the box and try new experiences. And I'm still experiencing culture shock going from Brooklyn to Texas. What the Hell!

The Moral of the Story is, no matter where you come from, if you have it set in your mind and in your heart, all things are possible. It is very important that you walk to the beat of your own drum and not be a follower, but a trend setter. So again, I thank my now deceased brother and deceased sister for unknowingly showing me not to follow in the same path they walked in, but to make my own trail in life. Both of my parents eventually passed away from their disease and other complications.

So no matter where you come from and no matter what background you have, you can make it if you try. Stay focused on the bigger picture and dance to YOUR beat and no one else's. And if you do.....YOU win the game.

Should You Ask For Advice on the Internet?

2008-06-28T09:49:00.006-05:00

Throughout our life time, we will be faced with many situations. Will we all know exactly how to handle every situation we encounter? For some, perhaps and for others, no way. As a result, many people have turned to social networking for advice from cooking to relationships. No one is expected to have all the answers in life, that's why it is normal to seek advice & council from others, even if they are strangers. So to answer the question; should you ask for advice on the internet? My response would be, why not. Do whatever makes you happy, but be prepared for the consequences that may follow.

Here's the problem: If you decide to place your personal business on the internet and seek out advice from strangers, you should not be offended by the responses you receive. Everyone and I mean everyone is entitled to their opinions. If the snake bites your ass, don't get upset. If you can't take the snake bite, do not put your hand in its face. In other words, if you do not like the responses that people take the time to write, whether it's something you want to hear or not, DO NOT get offended. It's just like playing a game. Sometimes you're going to lose and sometimes you're going to win.

Here's the moral of the story. If you seek out advice on the internet, be a good sport, because you're not always going to hear what you want to hear. We all have opinions and you should respect them, whether you like what you hear or not. One should be appreciative that someone has taken the time to even consider responding to your situation. Hence, be a good sport, no matter the outcome. If you only want to hear specific things, then I highly recommend that you look in the mirror and talk to your damn self. That way you'll always hear what you want to hear and the only person you can get upset with is yourself.

How Do You Manage Your Time Between Your Job and Your Family?

2008-06-26T11:59:00.004-05:00

This is a question that many of us are plagued with all the time. But is there a right or wrong answer to this timeless question? Each person’s story is different, but what matters the most is how you choose to handle the situation.

Here’s what happened to me….My company is Wrapperlicious. I am building the company brick by brick and it has been one of the most fulfilling and challenging things I have ever had to do. I initially started Wrapperlicious in order to make ends meet, when my husband was laid off. Little did I know, this business would turn into a passion and that I would even do it for free. (Okay, there are limits to my insanity…smile.) Another thing I did not know is that I would have to beg for support from my husband, as well as figure out a way to balance my time between the business and my family. The other catch here is that I also have a full-time job during the day.

So, is there an easy solution? Hell No! Because there are not enough hours in the day, someone is going to lose. Or will they? I always feel like my family competes for my time. Which do I choose? Should I choose to work on my business or spend time with my family? Case in point, if I choose to appease my husband and sit and watch a movie with him, I feel like that’s wasted time and I could put that same time into my business. Therefore, if I choose to work on business, my husband and my children feel neglected. But my question is: “Don’t these people see that I’m trying to make a better life for us; can’t they see this?” ARGH!!!

My goal is to eventually have a successful business that will allow me to have more time with my family and to stop working to make other people rich. The quality of life I want to offer them will not be accomplished doing nothing, especially when I can be doing something.

So tell me, is there an easy solution? Perhaps. Here’s what I eventually did. I came up with a plan to dedicate my time to both. How? Well I’ll tell you. A part of my business requires me to work with my table saw. Yes, I like power tools! I have now asked my husband to help me. Men like to feel strong & needed, so I’ve gotten him involved, hence we’re spending time together. I also scheduled a date for us to spend time alone at least once a week, even if it requires that I hire a babysitter.

As far as my children are concerned, I dedicate my weekends to them and my husband has agreed to take them somewhere for a few hours on weekends so I can work on my business. When they return, I must stop what I’m doing and join in on the family fun.

The moral here is, even when you feel overwhelmed and pulled and several different directions, there’s always a compromise that will make everyone happy. But this must begin with communication and a plan that will please everyone. Having peace in the home is a beautiful thing.

The Moral of Life Is: Never Give Up!

2008-06-26T09:32:00.000-05:00

I was looking at a picture on my wall this morning, you might have seen it yourself.
It's a drawing of a bird trying unsuccessfully to swallow a frog.

The picture illustrates the reason that the bird is not having much success getting this frog down his throat is because the frog is pictured with both his hands clinching the birds by the neck to keep himself from being swallowed.

From all appearances, somethings got to give. Either the bird will get choked to death, or he will spit the frog out and let it go. Or the frog will let loose his choke hold and be swallowed or eaten by the bird. The title of the picture is "Don't Ever Give Up!" ... LOL!

If you are trying to achieve success at anything, the first thing you must commit to is that no matter what, you won’t give up. You have to tell yourself that there’s no way you’re going to let yourself fail, no matter what happens. You have to believe that you will never give up.

The path to success is a long and winding road. There will be ups and downs. It will be somewhat easy for some people and it will be very difficult for others. And then for everyone else achieving success will be somewhere in between. But one thing that’s certain is if you’re going to be successful then you can’t give-up.

It takes all different kinds of people to achieve success.

Some people went to college and studied hard for many years. These people got their Bachelor’s, and their Master’s, and some even got their Doctorate Degree. And then they finally ventured out on their own and now they are very successful.

Other people begin their journey to success much sooner. Some people drop out of college and some even drop out of high school. They know what they want and they go for it with unwavering passion and dedication. And without a solid education, these people become successful.

So you have people who are very well-educated and people who aren’t educated hardly at all who both become successful. These people have very little in common. But they do have something in common that is the most important ingredient to being successful. They are all very successful because they didn’t give up.
When every thing else is stripped away, that’s what’s truly important. If you want to be successful, you can never give up. This sounds simple and it can be, but often it’s much easier said than done.

It can be a daily struggle to always stay committed to success andnot to allow yourself to give into thoughts of doubt. Sometimes things will get so bad that you think there’s no possible way you’ll be successful with what you’re trying to do. You’ll curse yourself for even trying to do what it is you’re doing. You’ll begin to think of ways to stop trying and to move onto something else. You'll fall into the "grass is greener" trap and lose focus.

Don’t let this happen to you. Know that the number one thing that it takes to be successful is perseverance. You can’t give up. You have to keep striving and believing. You have to keep yourself on the "right path" by finding out what are the right things to do and then doing them correctly and consistently without distraction. And you must have faith, tempered with patience, that what you're doing will have the desired outcome in a reasonable amount of time.
Because in the end, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either. But if you do believe in yourself, and if you refuse to ever give up, then others will start believing in you too. And before you know it, you’ll be truly successful. So make sure you don’t ever give up.
Peace and Blessings,

Credit for these words of wisdom comes from:Lee Green, Success Coach & Business Mentor

Fear is Overcome With Action

2008-06-26T09:31:00.000-05:00

One of the greatest surprises you'll experience,is when you discover that you can dowhat you were afraid you couldn't do.

Your obstacles will melt away,if instead of cowering before them,you make up your mind to walk boldly through them.

Do the thing you fear and fear disappears.Confront your fears, list them, get to know themand only then will you be able to put them asideand move ahead.

When you face the things that scare you,you open the door to freedom.

The only thing you have to fear, is fear itself...

Copyright 2008

Welcome To Wrapperlicious' Blog

2008-06-26T09:30:00.001-05:00

I am very excited about Wrapperlicious. Designing customized wrappers bring me so much joy, especially since I know my products bring a ton of joy to the recipient and others. I've seen first hand how customized wrappers make a person feel.

Mass produced favors are nice, but personalized favors are like putting the icing on the cake. Now who doesn't like icing. Personalized favors say that you put thought & care into your favor choice. Nothing compares to seeing someone's picture or name on our favors. I remember one lady told me that her daughter thought she was a star, because she had her own candy bar with her picture on it. And she actually walked around with a big head for about two weeks. I thought that was the best compliment in the world.

I think I get more excited about how my wrappers make people feel, more than anything else. Sometimes I just feel like I'm in the market of creating joy, which is my birth name by the way. If I can make one person happy and feel special, then I know Wrapperlicious is working. I know I still have a way to go and more wrappers to design, but being the mom of three young children, 6, 5 and 3, it's a challenge. I'm getting there, I'm getting there and I'm not going to stop until I've arrived...smile.