Should You Care How You Are Perceived By Others?

Have you ever thought, I mean really thought of how people perceive you? Do you even care how others see you? Should you care? Should one take the time to STOP-LOOK & Listen to the hard facts about how others perceive you? You may think you are an awesome individual, to only find out that you are perceived as something totally different. More importantly, if numerous people are saying the same things about you, then perhaps you need to reevaluate YOU. If you keep getting the same outcome in life that you do not desire, then perhaps you need to reevaluate yourself and stop putting the blame on others. Self reflection is a powerful medicine and sometimes a cure to most problems.

Let me tell you a story of a similar nature. In Corporate America, there are two kinds of people, those who manage and then those who are managed. The ones who are managed are usually told what they're doing wrong, what needs improvement and of course the 1 or 2 things they actually do well. In most cases, the cons usually outweigh the pros.

I strongly believe some people get so hung up on managing others, flexing their egos and pounding on their chest, that they totally dismiss or forget the human side of people. They forget that people thrive on positive accolades more so than the finger pointing and nit picking. There's a true science and an art to managing others and making them feel good and appreciated for their work and efforts. But unfortunately, there are very few who even take the time to master those skills. Case in point, do you view the glass as half empty or half full? Which view point would you want your manager to have?

I love the saying, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." But this is what I do not understand, the subordinate always takes the beatings, whether it's verbal or project wise. The blows are given, but they are never reciprocated. I understand this is not a childish game of tag or ping pong, but reciprocal feedback is always lacking and playing ping pong or tag alone is not a fair game. Why aren't subordinates allowed the same privilege of evaluating their managers? As I mentioned earlier, if no one is there to tell you how you really are, then the cycle of ignorance goes unscathed and nonchalantly continues.

A woman once told me that reciprocal feedback was thought about at her company, but the problem of anonymity was an issue. If you ask me, that is yet another excuse to avoid doing something that would require change. I think subordinates should have an opportunity to flip the script and let mangers know the pros and cons of their managing skills. If you do not know you are a terrible manager or just need a little improvement, then change is not possible. Just like a cook, if no one tells the cook that their cooking is less than desirable, then you deserve the continued torture of eating the food or force feeding it to the damn dog under the table who doesn't want it either.

As a result, even as a manager, I think hearing criticism from the subordinate's point of view, both good and bad, would not only benefit the manager, but the entire company. Why? Perhaps the feed back would be a revelation to the manager and they can now implement change in order to become a better person and manager. If you do not know the truth about yourself, then change is not possible. Sometimes hearing things about yourself from someone else, is a real eye opener.

The Moral of the Story is: STOP-LOOK & Listen, do not be afraid to ask those around you how they perceive you and if they think there's anything about you that you should change or work on. No one is perfect, but we all have the power and ability to change ourselves. Self reflection is a powerful medicine and sometimes a cure to most problems.

"Nothing Changes, If Nothing Changes."

My Experience with Hurricane Ike in Houston

Hurricane Ike visited Houston like he lost his job, foreclosed on his house, someone stole his wife and owed his mama some money. Talk about a temper. Big Ike shut most of Houston down, just like a wrestler unrelentingly slamming down his opponent with brutal force.

The wrath of Ike's temper destroyed and damaged homes, cars, power lines and left over 2 million people without electricity and clean water. There were also many who had to endure total loss of water for weeks. Mother Nature's wild child affected the lives of so many and without prejudice; ranging from death, homelessness, temporary displacement, to how we sleep, how we eat, how we drive, how we cook or not able to cook.

Although hurricane Ike caused a lot of sadness and discomfort, it also brought out the best in people too. Neighborhoods finally blossomed into caring communities and everyone looked out for each other. That is what I vividly remember when I was growing up. It was an unwritten law to know who your neighbors were in Brooklyn, because it was also a security issue as well. If you saw someone that was unfamiliar in the neighborhood, you better believe that everyone's eye was on that person. Now THAT is what community is about.

During hurricane Ike, there were numerous people who met their neighbors for the first time, after living on the same block for years. Now I think that is appalling. Has society become so engrossed in their own lives that we no longer find the time or put in a little effort to meet & greet the neighbors that live right next door or across the street? Sadly, it had to take a tragedy to bring the community together, which is very disappointing.

What's even more shocking is as soon as the power was restored and generators fell silent, the community immediately reverted back into being an uncommunicative, disassociated, quiet neighborhood. They hurriedly scurried back into their caves, just like roaches when the light is immediately turned on in a dark room. What? There were also plenty of roaches while growing up in Brooklyn too. So yes, I do know about roach behavior as well. HA!

It is sad that you no longer have to put in any physical effort to socialize. You don't even have to show your face. All you have to do is plop in front of a computer, latest video game or send a text message and relationships are forged. As a society, we have willingly allowed technology to control and shape our lives. Just like the natural evolution of life, we are evolving into unsocialable androids and being without power reminded us that we are indeed human.

When I was growing up, there were no computers or cell phones. And NO I'm not that damn OLD! You actually had to go outside to play, to make friends and to communicate. As our society becomes more technologically advanced, the further we move away from reality and the true meaning of what life is about.

As a result of my experience with hurricane Ike, I strongly believe we should all commit to at least one weekend or one day a month where we do not use computers or cell phones and actually socialize and communicate the way our parents used to, the old fashioned way!

This entire experience is so enlightening, because now I truly understand why relationships with our grand parents and great grand parents withstood the test of time. They actually had little to distract them as far as television, computers, video games, texting or cell phones. They actually had to communicate with each other. If most relationships today focused on communication, then perhaps the divorce rate would not be so damn high. And I will admit, the week I was without power, I was forced to talk to my husband. It felt like I hadn't spoken with him in years. It felt a little weird, but good at the same time. It was so romantic, we ate by candle light every evening...tee...hee...hee. That's sure a thing of the past now....HA! Too busy on the computer and writing blogs...HA!

The moral of the story is, we all need to do some self-reflecting and seriously consider taking a day where we all band technology and socialize the old fashioned way. Do you know your neighbors down the street or even across the street from you? My point exactly. Turn the TV, video games, cell phones, black berries and everything else OFF! Say no to technology just one day a month and socialize like a human-being!

How My Children Have Changed My Outlook in The Work Place.

As I entered the office this morning, the "Super Mom" in me instantly kicked in.

Super Who? Okay, she is an innate instinct that has unfolded since having children. I opened my boss's door and noticed his prescription bottle had been sitting on his desk for weeks. I immediately had to investigate this matter. I hurridly picked up the bottle and noticed that it was his heart medication and it was EMPTY. I thought, "Houston, we have a problem." I really like my boss, but if he kicks the bucket, I'm out of a job. Wrapperlicious has been good to me, but I still need a steady income, but more importantly, I need health benefits for the entire family.

As my boss nonchalantly came in this morning, he had no idea what was to come. I walked into his office, raised one eyebrow and I asked him if he already filled his prescription and he said no. Without hesitation, I held out my hand and told him to give me some money and that I would pick up his prescription for him. He looked at me funny and said, "Joy, that's not in your job description." Now as I get older, things just fly out of my mouth, I just can't seem to control these sudden impulses. I then said to him, "Well if you die, I will suddenly be out of a job, so it is part of my job description, now give me some money!" Like an obiendient boy, he handed me $60 dollars. I took off....I mean, Super Mom took off and filled his prescription.

On the contrary, BEFORE I had children, I would have NEVER cared enough to make sure any of my boss' took their meds. I would have thought, "I'm not their mother and that's not in my job description." Now that I'm on the other side of this spectrum, caring for others seem as natural as caring for my own children.

The Moral of the Story is that our life experiences help define who we are and who we become as people. Our experiences add to our unique character. Also, our experiences can make us stronger, but unfortunately, for some they can also make us weaker. As I've said before, what matters most is what you choose to do with your experiences. Life my dear, is a priceless teacher and we always have choices.

Creating Something From Nothing

You may have already read that I can make something out of nothing. Well, I recently had a rather odd request to create a personalized candy wrapper for a client. She wanted a unique personalized wrapper created for her husband's birthday. I said that would not be a problem! BUT...she said she wanted a wrapper with her 3 year old's art work incorporated into the wrapper. I then said to myself, "Houston, we have a problem." Now this three year old is no prodigy mind you. Not wanting to disappoint my client or back down from a challenge, I said, "Bring It On!" I looked at this opportunity as a way to push the envelope of my creativity.

This is what she sent me.

When I first looked at it, I was like, "What the HELL!!"

This is what I created.

Although other elements were added to this child's amazing art work, the essence of the original scribble remained the same and the client was happy beyond her wildest dreams. Now I plan on incorporating this service into my business. See....I took what seemed like an adversity and made it into another opportunity. Although the candy may be eaten, this wrapper will always be cherished for a lifetime.

I am so grateful for every adversity I'm faced with, because you never know what will come of it. Remember what I told you, there's a reason for EVERY experience in your life. What matters the most is what you do with the experience. Now go out there and make it happen for you! God Bless!

How Was Wrapperlicious Born?

Many people have asked me the same question over and over, which is: How was Wrapperlicious started?

I am a true believer that everything in life happens for a reason. I believe that everything we experience in life is to teach us something or to make us stronger & wiser. I believe experience, both good and bad, is the wisest teacher of them all.

I've ALWAYS been a creative person. I am a true example of being a Jack of all trades. For example, I draw, I'm a licensed hair stylist, makeup artist, an event planner, a costume designer, a repair person and so much more. If you give me some aluminum foil, some string and a crayon, I could make a fierce outfit out of it...HA! I can take just about anything and create something from it. My best friend used to tease me all the time and tell me that I could make a ponytail look good. Well....she was right....that IS true...smile.

Well....when my husband lost his job last year, I was forced into finding additional means of work on top of my full-time job. I didn't know what I was going to do to make ends meet. I was desperate. I searched the internet for months and months until the customized party favor world found ME. I said, "now THAT is something I know I can do!" I knew I was good with the computer and my boss gave me the uncanny opportunity to learn photoshop. I have absolutely no use for photoshop at work, but he asked and I said, "HELL YES!" (See....another example of things happening for a reason). I then taught myself how to use photoshop, which has been the spring board to Wrapperlicious. I took all of my computer knowledge and put it into designing personalized candy wrapper favors. It has been one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life. It allows me to use my creative abililites to design things that I know will bring joy to the lives of others.

Wrapperlicious has been so fulfilling that it has already caused problems at home. Both my husband and my children get upset and/or feel neglected, because of the time I spend on the computer designing wrappers or fulfilling orders. It's frustrating sometimes, because I simply can not be all things to everybody. And trying to find a balance is very challenging at times too.

So as you can see, I took an adversity and made it into something positive, which brings me back to my earlier statement, that every experience that we go through in life is to teach us something or to guide us down a different path. Perhaps my husband losing his job was the catalyst to make me find my true passion in life. On the contrary, if he never lost his job, Wrapperlicious would not have been born. So thank you honey for sucking at your job! Tee...hee..hee....I'm just kidding.

The Moral of the Story is, no matter what ordeal you're going through in life, you should try your hardest to take something positive from the situation. Every life experience gives us a chance to grow, but the key is what you choose to do with that experience. It's very easy to accept defeat, but fighting the battle with every fiber in your being makes you a true warrior. Don't get me wrong, you may lose the fight, but doing your best ALWAYS makes you a winner.

Unique Party Idea!

I am very excited to share this unique party idea with you. Okay, it may not be unique to some, but it's a way to appreciate things you don't take the time to see all the time. When my precious little girl turned 5, I wanted to throw her a party. Not because she's my daughter, but she is one of the most precious and mature little girls I have ever met. Even her teachers say they wish they had an entire class full of Bobbi's...smile.

Okay, getting back to the topic. So....I wanted to do something special for my daughter. I wanted to take it back to the Old School way of throwing a party - right in the house! I currently live in Texas and the majority of the parties I've attended have been at indoor play spaces, so I wanted to break that mold and show people how to really get down!!!!

What I did took a little time to prepare, but I went through all of Bobbi's photos from birth to present. I then downloaded the pictures and created a slide show, which was displayed on our flat screen television in the living room. How did I do that? Well, I currently have AT&T & Dish Network for internet and cable. This combination enables you to download your pictures to a database, which can then be viewed on the television. This gave the guests an opportunity to view pictures of Bobbi throughout the party. The pictures were on a continuous loop. I downloaded about 300 pictures of Bobbi. Can you think of a better way to share photos of your children with 30 people all at the same time. No photo albums needed here! Everyone was super impressed. I was tickled pink with the way it turned out.


The other thing I did to fuse the New School with the Old School was purchased the Cha Cha Slide Song and other familiar songs that all the children knew. I moved all the furniture out of the way and the kids went WILD. We danced and sang and danced some more. The kids had an incredible time and no one noticed that there were no incredible slides, bowling balls, video games or whatever they're used to at these indoor party places. In addition, let's not mention the amount of money that was saved having a party at home. More importantly, we were not on a set time schedule, which is usually the case when reserving a space at the indoor play spaces.

I also made a promise to myself that when I began having children, I would ALWAYS make their birthday cakes. Seven years later, I still make EVERY cake my children have on their birthday. It's so bad, that my children will not eat store bought cakes. They LOVE mommy's carrot cake and that's the only cake they'll eat. I feel proud...smile.

Fusing the Old School with the New School was a party that's still talked about to this day!

So the next time you consider having a party for your child, skip the indoor play spaces, throw a bash right in your own home, with good food, music and lots of love & laughter. They'll remember that party for years to come!

I almost forgot the most important part of this entire article...make sure you have personalized favors from http://www.wrapperlicious.com/. The favors were the icing on the cake! Carrot cake of course!

Growing Up In Brooklyn, New York

Growing up in Brooklyn was like a game. You either survived or you didn't. What does that mean? Well I'll tell you. When I was growing up, Brooklyn was rough. I remember I used to hear sirens & gun shots at night as if it were my lullaby music. The noise was so loud that it would sometimes wake me from a deep sleep. I was surround by crime and drugs. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like war or anything, there are great memories there too. But when your entire life is submersed in a situation, you don't know any better. I thought everyone lived like that.

There were not only drugs in the street, but they were in my home too. Both my brother and my sister fell prey to this ugly addiction. I am the youngest in the family, so as you can see, I had the most perfect role models in the world and I honestly mean that. But unfortunately, it did not stop there; my father was also a victim of the same vicious life style. So let me break this down to you. Being submersed in a negative environment made me rebel...................FOR THE BETTER. I looked at my brother and my sister as people I did not want to become. I looked at my father as a man I would never want to marry. And lastly, I looked at my mother, a strong black woman trying to keep us together and hold everything down, as someone I didn't want to become either. But unfortunately, sometimes the good guy loses. Due to my father's life style, my mom contracted AIDS from the only man she ever loved, my father. I never understood why she never left him, but that's another story.

What did I do? Did I join their drug fest? Hell to the No, I stayed in school and wouldn't stay home even when I was sick. I would go to school for an escape from my reality. I involved myself with dancing. No not ballet. Hip Hop fool! I was known as the Dance Machine in High School. Dancing was in my soul, it was something I loved then and that I continue to love.

I was the first person in my family to graduate from high school and the first to get accepted into college. Here's the twist. I was accepted into both Howard University, which is predominately Black and I was accepted into University of Texas at Austin, predominately White. Can YOU guess which school I chose? No not Howard fool! I wanted to escape my familiar surroundings, step out of the box and try new experiences. And I'm still experiencing culture shock going from Brooklyn to Texas. What the Hell!

The Moral of the Story is, no matter where you come from, if you have it set in your mind and in your heart, all things are possible. It is very important that you walk to the beat of your own drum and not be a follower, but a trend setter. So again, I thank my now deceased brother and deceased sister for unknowingly showing me not to follow in the same path they walked in, but to make my own trail in life. Both of my parents eventually passed away from their disease and other complications.

So no matter where you come from and no matter what background you have, you can make it if you try. Stay focused on the bigger picture and dance to YOUR beat and no one else's. And if you do.....YOU win the game.

Should You Ask For Advice on the Internet?

Throughout our life time, we will be faced with many situations. Will we all know exactly how to handle every situation we encounter? For some, perhaps and for others, no way. As a result, many people have turned to social networking for advice from cooking to relationships. No one is expected to have all the answers in life, that's why it is normal to seek advice & council from others, even if they are strangers. So to answer the question; should you ask for advice on the internet? My response would be, why not. Do whatever makes you happy, but be prepared for the consequences that may follow.

Here's the problem: If you decide to place your personal business on the internet and seek out advice from strangers, you should not be offended by the responses you receive. Everyone and I mean everyone is entitled to their opinions. If the snake bites your ass, don't get upset. If you can't take the snake bite, do not put your hand in its face. In other words, if you do not like the responses that people take the time to write, whether it's something you want to hear or not, DO NOT get offended. It's just like playing a game. Sometimes you're going to lose and sometimes you're going to win.

Here's the moral of the story. If you seek out advice on the internet, be a good sport, because you're not always going to hear what you want to hear. We all have opinions and you should respect them, whether you like what you hear or not. One should be appreciative that someone has taken the time to even consider responding to your situation. Hence, be a good sport, no matter the outcome. If you only want to hear specific things, then I highly recommend that you look in the mirror and talk to your damn self. That way you'll always hear what you want to hear and the only person you can get upset with is yourself.

How Do You Manage Your Time Between Your Job and Your Family?

This is a question that many of us are plagued with all the time. But is there a right or wrong answer to this timeless question? Each person’s story is different, but what matters the most is how you choose to handle the situation.

Here’s what happened to me….My company is Wrapperlicious. I am building the company brick by brick and it has been one of the most fulfilling and challenging things I have ever had to do. I initially started Wrapperlicious in order to make ends meet, when my husband was laid off. Little did I know, this business would turn into a passion and that I would even do it for free. (Okay, there are limits to my insanity…smile.) Another thing I did not know is that I would have to beg for support from my husband, as well as figure out a way to balance my time between the business and my family. The other catch here is that I also have a full-time job during the day.

So, is there an easy solution? Hell No! Because there are not enough hours in the day, someone is going to lose. Or will they? I always feel like my family competes for my time. Which do I choose? Should I choose to work on my business or spend time with my family? Case in point, if I choose to appease my husband and sit and watch a movie with him, I feel like that’s wasted time and I could put that same time into my business. Therefore, if I choose to work on business, my husband and my children feel neglected. But my question is: “Don’t these people see that I’m trying to make a better life for us; can’t they see this?” ARGH!!!

My goal is to eventually have a successful business that will allow me to have more time with my family and to stop working to make other people rich. The quality of life I want to offer them will not be accomplished doing nothing, especially when I can be doing something.

So tell me, is there an easy solution? Perhaps. Here’s what I eventually did. I came up with a plan to dedicate my time to both. How? Well I’ll tell you. A part of my business requires me to work with my table saw. Yes, I like power tools! I have now asked my husband to help me. Men like to feel strong & needed, so I’ve gotten him involved, hence we’re spending time together. I also scheduled a date for us to spend time alone at least once a week, even if it requires that I hire a babysitter.

As far as my children are concerned, I dedicate my weekends to them and my husband has agreed to take them somewhere for a few hours on weekends so I can work on my business. When they return, I must stop what I’m doing and join in on the family fun.

The moral here is, even when you feel overwhelmed and pulled and several different directions, there’s always a compromise that will make everyone happy. But this must begin with communication and a plan that will please everyone. Having peace in the home is a beautiful thing.

The Moral of Life Is: Never Give Up!

I was looking at a picture on my wall this morning, you might have seen it yourself.
It's a drawing of a bird trying unsuccessfully to swallow a frog.

The picture illustrates the reason that the bird is not having much success getting this frog down his throat is because the frog is pictured with both his hands clinching the birds by the neck to keep himself from being swallowed.

From all appearances, somethings got to give. Either the bird will get choked to death, or he will spit the frog out and let it go. Or the frog will let loose his choke hold and be swallowed or eaten by the bird. The title of the picture is "Don't Ever Give Up!" ... LOL!

If you are trying to achieve success at anything, the first thing you must commit to is that no matter what, you won’t give up. You have to tell yourself that there’s no way you’re going to let yourself fail, no matter what happens. You have to believe that you will never give up.

The path to success is a long and winding road. There will be ups and downs. It will be somewhat easy for some people and it will be very difficult for others. And then for everyone else achieving success will be somewhere in between. But one thing that’s certain is if you’re going to be successful then you can’t give-up.

It takes all different kinds of people to achieve success.

Some people went to college and studied hard for many years. These people got their Bachelor’s, and their Master’s, and some even got their Doctorate Degree. And then they finally ventured out on their own and now they are very successful.

Other people begin their journey to success much sooner. Some people drop out of college and some even drop out of high school. They know what they want and they go for it with unwavering passion and dedication. And without a solid education, these people become successful.

So you have people who are very well-educated and people who aren’t educated hardly at all who both become successful. These people have very little in common. But they do have something in common that is the most important ingredient to being successful. They are all very successful because they didn’t give up.
When every thing else is stripped away, that’s what’s truly important. If you want to be successful, you can never give up. This sounds simple and it can be, but often it’s much easier said than done.

It can be a daily struggle to always stay committed to success andnot to allow yourself to give into thoughts of doubt. Sometimes things will get so bad that you think there’s no possible way you’ll be successful with what you’re trying to do. You’ll curse yourself for even trying to do what it is you’re doing. You’ll begin to think of ways to stop trying and to move onto something else. You'll fall into the "grass is greener" trap and lose focus.

Don’t let this happen to you. Know that the number one thing that it takes to be successful is perseverance. You can’t give up. You have to keep striving and believing. You have to keep yourself on the "right path" by finding out what are the right things to do and then doing them correctly and consistently without distraction. And you must have faith, tempered with patience, that what you're doing will have the desired outcome in a reasonable amount of time.
Because in the end, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either. But if you do believe in yourself, and if you refuse to ever give up, then others will start believing in you too. And before you know it, you’ll be truly successful. So make sure you don’t ever give up.
Peace and Blessings,

Credit for these words of wisdom comes from:Lee Green, Success Coach & Business Mentor

Fear is Overcome With Action

One of the greatest surprises you'll experience,is when you discover that you can dowhat you were afraid you couldn't do.

Your obstacles will melt away,if instead of cowering before them,you make up your mind to walk boldly through them.

Do the thing you fear and fear disappears.Confront your fears, list them, get to know themand only then will you be able to put them asideand move ahead.

When you face the things that scare you,you open the door to freedom.

The only thing you have to fear, is fear itself...

Copyright 2008

Welcome To Wrapperlicious' Blog

I am very excited about Wrapperlicious. Designing customized wrappers bring me so much joy, especially since I know my products bring a ton of joy to the recipient and others. I've seen first hand how customized wrappers make a person feel.

Mass produced favors are nice, but personalized favors are like putting the icing on the cake. Now who doesn't like icing. Personalized favors say that you put thought & care into your favor choice. Nothing compares to seeing someone's picture or name on our favors. I remember one lady told me that her daughter thought she was a star, because she had her own candy bar with her picture on it. And she actually walked around with a big head for about two weeks. I thought that was the best compliment in the world.

I think I get more excited about how my wrappers make people feel, more than anything else. Sometimes I just feel like I'm in the market of creating joy, which is my birth name by the way. If I can make one person happy and feel special, then I know Wrapperlicious is working. I know I still have a way to go and more wrappers to design, but being the mom of three young children, 6, 5 and 3, it's a challenge. I'm getting there, I'm getting there and I'm not going to stop until I've arrived...smile.