Should You Care How You Are Perceived By Others?

Have you ever thought, I mean really thought of how people perceive you? Do you even care how others see you? Should you care? Should one take the time to STOP-LOOK & Listen to the hard facts about how others perceive you? You may think you are an awesome individual, to only find out that you are perceived as something totally different. More importantly, if numerous people are saying the same things about you, then perhaps you need to reevaluate YOU. If you keep getting the same outcome in life that you do not desire, then perhaps you need to reevaluate yourself and stop putting the blame on others. Self reflection is a powerful medicine and sometimes a cure to most problems.

Let me tell you a story of a similar nature. In Corporate America, there are two kinds of people, those who manage and then those who are managed. The ones who are managed are usually told what they're doing wrong, what needs improvement and of course the 1 or 2 things they actually do well. In most cases, the cons usually outweigh the pros.

I strongly believe some people get so hung up on managing others, flexing their egos and pounding on their chest, that they totally dismiss or forget the human side of people. They forget that people thrive on positive accolades more so than the finger pointing and nit picking. There's a true science and an art to managing others and making them feel good and appreciated for their work and efforts. But unfortunately, there are very few who even take the time to master those skills. Case in point, do you view the glass as half empty or half full? Which view point would you want your manager to have?

I love the saying, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." But this is what I do not understand, the subordinate always takes the beatings, whether it's verbal or project wise. The blows are given, but they are never reciprocated. I understand this is not a childish game of tag or ping pong, but reciprocal feedback is always lacking and playing ping pong or tag alone is not a fair game. Why aren't subordinates allowed the same privilege of evaluating their managers? As I mentioned earlier, if no one is there to tell you how you really are, then the cycle of ignorance goes unscathed and nonchalantly continues.

A woman once told me that reciprocal feedback was thought about at her company, but the problem of anonymity was an issue. If you ask me, that is yet another excuse to avoid doing something that would require change. I think subordinates should have an opportunity to flip the script and let mangers know the pros and cons of their managing skills. If you do not know you are a terrible manager or just need a little improvement, then change is not possible. Just like a cook, if no one tells the cook that their cooking is less than desirable, then you deserve the continued torture of eating the food or force feeding it to the damn dog under the table who doesn't want it either.

As a result, even as a manager, I think hearing criticism from the subordinate's point of view, both good and bad, would not only benefit the manager, but the entire company. Why? Perhaps the feed back would be a revelation to the manager and they can now implement change in order to become a better person and manager. If you do not know the truth about yourself, then change is not possible. Sometimes hearing things about yourself from someone else, is a real eye opener.

The Moral of the Story is: STOP-LOOK & Listen, do not be afraid to ask those around you how they perceive you and if they think there's anything about you that you should change or work on. No one is perfect, but we all have the power and ability to change ourselves. Self reflection is a powerful medicine and sometimes a cure to most problems.

"Nothing Changes, If Nothing Changes."

How My Children Have Changed My Outlook in The Work Place.

As I entered the office this morning, the "Super Mom" in me instantly kicked in.

Super Who? Okay, she is an innate instinct that has unfolded since having children. I opened my boss's door and noticed his prescription bottle had been sitting on his desk for weeks. I immediately had to investigate this matter. I hurridly picked up the bottle and noticed that it was his heart medication and it was EMPTY. I thought, "Houston, we have a problem." I really like my boss, but if he kicks the bucket, I'm out of a job. Wrapperlicious has been good to me, but I still need a steady income, but more importantly, I need health benefits for the entire family.

As my boss nonchalantly came in this morning, he had no idea what was to come. I walked into his office, raised one eyebrow and I asked him if he already filled his prescription and he said no. Without hesitation, I held out my hand and told him to give me some money and that I would pick up his prescription for him. He looked at me funny and said, "Joy, that's not in your job description." Now as I get older, things just fly out of my mouth, I just can't seem to control these sudden impulses. I then said to him, "Well if you die, I will suddenly be out of a job, so it is part of my job description, now give me some money!" Like an obiendient boy, he handed me $60 dollars. I took off....I mean, Super Mom took off and filled his prescription.

On the contrary, BEFORE I had children, I would have NEVER cared enough to make sure any of my boss' took their meds. I would have thought, "I'm not their mother and that's not in my job description." Now that I'm on the other side of this spectrum, caring for others seem as natural as caring for my own children.

The Moral of the Story is that our life experiences help define who we are and who we become as people. Our experiences add to our unique character. Also, our experiences can make us stronger, but unfortunately, for some they can also make us weaker. As I've said before, what matters most is what you choose to do with your experiences. Life my dear, is a priceless teacher and we always have choices.