What Is Day Dating?

How many people do you know and maybe even yourself, who get married, have 2.5 children and then the marriage goes by the wayside?

Sometimes in the process of life, we tend to get so involved in the day to day survival, that we forget who we are. More importantly, we sometimes forget about doing special little things for and with the person we committed ourselves to. Unknowingly, we take our significant other for granted.

Once that disconnect in a relationship forms, it's never too late to rekindle what was once so beautiful. That is....if you want to. Take me for an example. When my family and I moved to Texas from New York City 5 years ago, I believe that was exactly the time my husband and I stopped connecting. We drifted apart like two polarizing entities. He worked late evenings and weekends and I worked days. We were coasting along, silently going through the vicious cycle of life. The typical day for me was: Make breakfast for the kids, get the kids off to school, rush to work, rush back home, pick the kids up, make kids a snack, rush the kids to activities, rush homework, rush dinner, baths, yelling, clean up mega mess and then pass out from exhaustion. And don't even think about sex. Who had time for that crap! This vicious cycle of life went on for 5 long years. The next thing I knew, it was as though I was living with a room mate who I only saw occasionally. Hmmmm...perhaps that's why we're still married...LOL

Throughout life's trials and tribulations, I truly believe everything in life happens for a reason. I got real tired of not having a life of my own, so I woke up one day and I told my boss that he could take this job and $%^&*. Okay, okay, okay, I didn't actually leave my job on those melodramatic terms, but Honey, you better believe I sure thought about saying it; with the Black Girl head & neck roll, hand on one hip, finger pointing & all...LOL.


Now that I had part of my life back, I was forced to look at my husband during the day while he soundly slept like a baby through all the morning chaos. Annoyed, I rolled my eyes, got into my Black Girl stance again, poked him in the back with my sharp, Lee press on nails and said, "Hey, Take me out to eat!" Equally annoyed, he looked at me with crust still in his eyes and said, "Alright, just give me 5 more minutes!" Hence, the birth of Day Dating.

We commit to dining two times a week for lunch at different restaurants in Spring, The Woodlands and Houston. We get dressed up as though we are going out for dinner and we enjoy meals at half the price. I must say, Day Dating has totally transformed our marriage. While the kids are at school, we spend much needed quality time together. In kidless peace and tranquility, we both enjoy yummy food and fine wine. As a result, Day Dating has given us a 2nd chance at this marriage thing. I look forward to playing dress up for lunch and he looks forward to seeing me happy and giddy like when we were dating, BEFORE attention hungry, life draining, always hungry, always wanting something, loud, snotty nose, messy, crying, fighting, dirty, sticky fingers, always touching something, germ infested kids came along.

Day Dating. I highly recommend it.

My Experience with Hurricane Ike in Houston

Hurricane Ike visited Houston like he lost his job, foreclosed on his house, someone stole his wife and owed his mama some money. Talk about a temper. Big Ike shut most of Houston down, just like a wrestler unrelentingly slamming down his opponent with brutal force.

The wrath of Ike's temper destroyed and damaged homes, cars, power lines and left over 2 million people without electricity and clean water. There were also many who had to endure total loss of water for weeks. Mother Nature's wild child affected the lives of so many and without prejudice; ranging from death, homelessness, temporary displacement, to how we sleep, how we eat, how we drive, how we cook or not able to cook.

Although hurricane Ike caused a lot of sadness and discomfort, it also brought out the best in people too. Neighborhoods finally blossomed into caring communities and everyone looked out for each other. That is what I vividly remember when I was growing up. It was an unwritten law to know who your neighbors were in Brooklyn, because it was also a security issue as well. If you saw someone that was unfamiliar in the neighborhood, you better believe that everyone's eye was on that person. Now THAT is what community is about.

During hurricane Ike, there were numerous people who met their neighbors for the first time, after living on the same block for years. Now I think that is appalling. Has society become so engrossed in their own lives that we no longer find the time or put in a little effort to meet & greet the neighbors that live right next door or across the street? Sadly, it had to take a tragedy to bring the community together, which is very disappointing.

What's even more shocking is as soon as the power was restored and generators fell silent, the community immediately reverted back into being an uncommunicative, disassociated, quiet neighborhood. They hurriedly scurried back into their caves, just like roaches when the light is immediately turned on in a dark room. What? There were also plenty of roaches while growing up in Brooklyn too. So yes, I do know about roach behavior as well. HA!

It is sad that you no longer have to put in any physical effort to socialize. You don't even have to show your face. All you have to do is plop in front of a computer, latest video game or send a text message and relationships are forged. As a society, we have willingly allowed technology to control and shape our lives. Just like the natural evolution of life, we are evolving into unsocialable androids and being without power reminded us that we are indeed human.

When I was growing up, there were no computers or cell phones. And NO I'm not that damn OLD! You actually had to go outside to play, to make friends and to communicate. As our society becomes more technologically advanced, the further we move away from reality and the true meaning of what life is about.

As a result of my experience with hurricane Ike, I strongly believe we should all commit to at least one weekend or one day a month where we do not use computers or cell phones and actually socialize and communicate the way our parents used to, the old fashioned way!

This entire experience is so enlightening, because now I truly understand why relationships with our grand parents and great grand parents withstood the test of time. They actually had little to distract them as far as television, computers, video games, texting or cell phones. They actually had to communicate with each other. If most relationships today focused on communication, then perhaps the divorce rate would not be so damn high. And I will admit, the week I was without power, I was forced to talk to my husband. It felt like I hadn't spoken with him in years. It felt a little weird, but good at the same time. It was so romantic, we ate by candle light every evening...tee...hee...hee. That's sure a thing of the past now....HA! Too busy on the computer and writing blogs...HA!

The moral of the story is, we all need to do some self-reflecting and seriously consider taking a day where we all band technology and socialize the old fashioned way. Do you know your neighbors down the street or even across the street from you? My point exactly. Turn the TV, video games, cell phones, black berries and everything else OFF! Say no to technology just one day a month and socialize like a human-being!